Have a Santastic Christmas!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Or not, depending on your naughty/nice tally this year. Unlike that second most judgmental guy in the big white beard, I wish everyone out there an unconditionally Merry Christmas! Even Paul has mostly merriment to share in his special Christmas message:

Even though Yeshua was birthed in April (the old-fashioned way) and never saw a reindeer or a pine tree in his unfairly short, though fairly productive life, he probably would have liked all the twinkly lights and candy canes and yule logs made of chocolate, cause he always had a serious sweet tooth. On the other hand, being a man of simple tastes who wore the same linen tunic and sandals day after day, he wouldn’t have looked none to kindly on the fat man in the red suit with the big bag O’goodies or the Black Friday sales with everything marked down to wholesale, on account of his own Black Friday courtesy of an anonymous tip to the Sanhedrin as to where he was holed up with the 13 disciples–including dreadful sister Mary — and who knows better than I how much those nails must have hurt. But even so, the Good King Jesus the Christ was always generous to a fault, even with me when I wasn’t quite so magnanimous in return, so the gift-giving festivities might have brought a wee smile to his face. So in honor of his passing, his return and his continued bloodline that should have been snuffed out if only Billy wasn’t such a puss and had done his duty to Clan and King with only half the dedication of you wondrous soldiers of the Cailleigh banner, let us raise our tumblers of Ole Bushmills to the King of Love and Father of those goddam O’Neils and wish their clan a very merry Christmas that they might as well enjoy now while they can before we wipe every last one of them off the face of the earth. Cheers Yeshua! You were, and always will be, the very best of us — which of course, was always your problem.

Love and bristly holiday kisses,
Paul

So from all of the Kelly Clan to you — Merry Christmas! Here’s a big gang of Badass Santas to keep the hell out of your chimney!