Ho! Ho! Ho! No, I’m not referring to the lovely lady on Santa’s lap–she’s just friendly! And here’s another reason they’re both so happy:
The Book of Paul is on sale for the Ho-Ho-Holidays at only $.99. That’s nearly 500 pages of “Mind-Blowing” madness (according to my horror hero Stephen King) for just a dollar! So stuff all your (adult) friend’s and family’s stockings while Santa stuffs his…
Oh never mind.
Get it while they’re hot!
And Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without something for FREE, right? So EVERYONE who subscribes to my newsletter before New Year’s Eve will receive a special FREE short story I wrote for a Happy Horror Holiday. It’s called: “Don’t Let Santa See You”
And if that’s not enough, even Paul, the Baddest Santa of them all, has a mostly merry Christmas message to share:
Even though Yeshua was birthed in April (the old-fashioned way) and never saw a reindeer or a pine tree in his unfairly short, though fairly productive life, he probably would have liked all the twinkly lights and candy canes and yule logs made of chocolate, cause he always had a serious sweet tooth. On the other hand, being a man of simple tastes who wore the same linen tunic and sandals day after day, he wouldn’t have looked none to kindly on the fat man in the red suit with the big bag O’goodies or the Black Friday sales with everything marked down to wholesale, on account of his own Black Friday courtesy of an anonymous tip to the Sanhedrin as to where he was holed up with the 13 disciples–including dreadful sister Mary — and who knows better than I how much those nails must have hurt. But even so, the Good King Jesus the Christ was always generous to a fault, even with me when I wasn’t quite so magnanimous in return, so the gift-giving festivities might have brought a wee smile to his face. So in honor of his passing, his return and his continued bloodline, let us raise our tumblers of Ole Bushmills to the King of Love: Cheers Yeshua! You were, and always will be, the very best of us — which of course, was always your problem.
Love and bristly holiday kisses,
And here’s another big gang of Badass Santas to keep the hell out of your chimney!
Ho! Ho! Ho! Ha! Ha! Ha! Wah! Wah! Wah!
Yes, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. Or not, depending on your naughty/nice tally this year. But unlike that second most judgmental guy in the big white beard, I wish everyone out there an unconditionally Merry Christmas! So from all of the Kelly Clan to you — Merry Christmas! Or whatever else you feel like celebrating this week!
And remember, if you want the free short story, you have to subscribe to my mailing list.