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Home» Funny shit » TV or not TV? Is it even a question?

TV or not TV? Is it even a question?

Posted by Richard Long - September 11, 2013 - Funny shit, Horror, Paranormal, Richard Long, Sci-Fi, Supernatural, The Book of Paul
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Awkward pause in the conversation? Here’s the perfect filler: “What TV shows are you watching now?” BAM! You’re almost guaranteed a minimum of fifteen minutes of boisterous banter. And in those rare instances where the answer is: “I don’t watch TV.” You can always ask for the check. Even if you’re not in a restaurant.

What's on tonight? Won't be better than this.

What’s on tonight? Won’t be better than this.

The phrase “Golden Age” gets thrown out a lot now and rightly so. Breaking Bad. Homeland. Walking Dead. And yes, Bates Motel. Hell, there’s even a network sitcom that can stand toe to toe with Seinfeld, The Mary Tyler Moore and Bob Newhart shows. Yeah, it’s the one without the laugh track: Modern Family. Ricky Gervais and Larry David took the single-camera torch passed by Garry Shandling’s Larry Sanders Show and added “Cringe Humor” to the vernacular (yes, Jerry Lewis, you were the original), but the’ve made me cringe so much that I’m tuning out. Still, there’s lots of great comedy. Without laugh tracks.

MTM. Still holds up.

MTM. Still holds up.

MF. Phil 'er up!

MF. Phil ‘er up!

Hey now! Garry Shandling you really started something with The Larry Sanders Show. Every "single-camera" show owes you royalties. If you don't know how great this is, check one of the episodes with David Duchovny as he woos Larry into a bromance for the ages.

Hey now! Garry Shandling you really started something with The Larry Sanders Show. Every “single-camera” show owes you royalties. If you don’t know how great this is, check one of the episodes with David Duchovny as he woos Larry into a bromance for the ages.

When I was a kid, my favorite shows were The Addams Family, The Wild, Wild West and The Munsters. My sensibility hasn’t changed much over the years. I like funny stuff. Spooky. Creepy. Weird. Exciting.Tense. In my teens and early twenties I stopped watching TV. When I moved to NYC in 1980 I used to go out to clubs all night and then stay up until dawn watching Mary Tyler Moore reruns. Then I discovered J. R. Ewing. Best. TV villain. Ever. Power crazy, ruthless, evil and funny. Now that I think about it, he might be my subconscious inspiration for Paul Kelly in The Book of Paul. At any rate, Larry Hagman can rest in peace, forever enshrined  the Entertainment Hall of Fame.

The Addams Family. Itt's a classic.

The Addams Family. Itt’s a classic.

Dr. Loveless I presume? The Wild, Wild West's arch-nemesis didn't have to be big to be good. And bad.

Dr. Loveless I presume?                                                                                               The Wild, Wild West’s arch-nemesis didn’t have to be big to be good. And bad.

Who shot him? Who cared? Everyone that was watching TV that year. Larry Hagman rest in peace. J. R. will live forever in the Villain Hall of Fame.

Who shot him? Who cared? Everyone that was watching TV that year. Larry Hagman rest in peace. J. R. will live forever in the Villain Hall of Fame.

It wasn’t until Lost came out that I started watching TV again. I love continuing dramas. Episodic drama doesn’t do it for me. Lost was so weird and wonderful in the beginning. Fantastic cast, great acting, direction, writing. And then…well, you know. It became so clear in the final season that the show’s creators didn’t know the answers to all the mysteries they had set up. So we got a Hail Mary ending that was…well, you know.

Up in smoke. Best example of how not to end a great series. The Sopranos included.

Up in smoke. Best example of how not to end a great series. The Sopranos included.

Fortunately, when Lost sputtered out there were a lot of great new shows coming in: Dexter was great in the beginning. I think it is mostly crap now except for Jennifer Carpenter who is absolutely mesmerizing every second she’s on screen. Honestly, if Dexter gets thrown into a wood-chipper for the series finale, I couldn’t care less. True Blood was promising, but is there anyone out there now who doesn’t want to stake Suzie Stackhouse? I never got into The Sopranos or The Wire or Mad Men or Boardwalk Empire. If the first show doesn’t hook me, I’m out.

Do I care what happens to Dexter in the finale? Not at all. Deb? Absolutely. Another good show gone way wrong.

Do I care what happens to Dexter in the finale? Not at all. Deb? Absolutely. Another good show gone way wrong.

Will someone pleaasssse stake Suzie Stackhouse and put her and me out of misery? The most annoying female protagonist of all time. The true death is too good for her. And the show.

Will someone pleaasssse stake Suzie Stackhouse and put her and me out of misery? The most annoying female protagonist of all time. The true death is too good for her. And the show.

Breaking Bad grabbed me by the throat and never let go. It was so crazy, funny, exciting, dramatic, outrageous. As the last episodes air in the coming weeks, I feel really confident that the ending will be totally Un-Lost-like. I think Vince Gilligan is a plotting genius. Character genius. Dialog genius. There is no aspect of the writing where he doesn’t excel. However it ends, it will be good. And bad. And I seriously fear for Jesse.

They couldn't make the Heisenberg hat???  Breaking Bad, you shall be mourned. But the Lego game should be great.

They couldn’t make the Heisenberg hat??? Breaking Bad, you shall be mourned. But the Lego game should be great.

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly. The Walking Dead ate my soul and won’t give it back!

The Walking Dead is fantastic. How fantastic? Even my wife who hates horror and gore is totally hooked on it. Why? Because the characters are great. It’s always about the characters. You gotta love Darryl and you gotta hate The Governor. I thought Bates Motel and Hannibal would be awful, but they both knocked my socks off, because the characters are great and the actors make them greater.

Norma and Norman. Not remotely Normal. Acting to die for. They'll bury the body.

Norma and Norman. Not remotely Normal. Acting to die for. They’ll bury the body.

Serving it up cold. Mads is madly marvelous.

Serving it up cold. Mads is madly marvelous.

What else am I watching? Game of Thrones. It got really chatty last season but I’m hoping Khaleesi and her dragons will get things going again. Orphan Black is fantastic. A must DVD rental. Under the Dome is good so far. Love that egg. And I’m always on the lookout for new shows.

Khaleesi. Mother of Dragons, please bring ii on! Game of Thrones needs some heating up.

Khaleesi. Mother of Dragons, please bring ii on! Game of Thrones needs some heating up.

So crazy good. Orphan Black is a must watch on DVD. Tatiana Maslany plays a dozen roles and hits a home run every time at the plate. Hello Emmys? You fucked up big time!

So crazy good. Orphan Black is a must watch on DVD. Tatiana Maslany plays a dozen roles and hits a home run every time at the plate. Hello Emmys? You fucked up big time!

Believable love affair? Not in the least (to me at least). Do I care? Not as much as I should. That's great acting.

Believable love affair? Not in the least (to me at least). Do I care? Not as much as I should. That’s great acting.

What's Under The Mini-Dome? Don't open till Easter.

What’s Under The Mini-Dome? Don’t open till Easter.

I’m sure I’m leaving a lot out of good stuff, but I’ll leave it to you to fill in the blanks to that question: “What TV shows are you watching now?”

The Book of Paul movie trailer update: We will air it on Halloween! Muahhaha! Hopefully, it will attract the attention of someone at HBO, SHO, AMC, Netflix or Amazon and people will get to spend an hour with Paul, Martin, Rose, William and The Striker every week. As much as I would love to see the movie version, it’s an epic seven volume series and the first book alone is good for two seasons. And then you’ll get great episode exit lines from Paul like this:

Addams Family, Bates Motel, Dallas, Game of Thrones, Garry Shandling, Hannibal, Hugh Dancy, J. R. Ewing, Khaleesi, Larry Hagman, Larry Sanders Show, Lost, Mads Mikkelsen, Mary Tyler Moore, Michael Dunn, Mother of Dragons, Norma Bates, Norman Bates, Orchid Black, Robert Conrad, Tatiana Maslany, Television, Television program, The Wild Wild West, Under the Dome, Wild West

2 comments on “TV or not TV? Is it even a question?”

  1. arianezurcher says:
    September 11, 2013 at 5:24 pm

    Fabulous post, though my youtube video of “let your fingers do the walking dead” should really have been included…

    Reply
    • Richard Long says:
      September 11, 2013 at 5:33 pm

      I’ll put it in! As soon as I find it.

      Reply

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