The Book of Paul
  • Amazon
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Google
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter
  • Youtube
  • Rss
Follow Me
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Meet Richard
    • Interviews
    • Film and Radio
      • The Dead End Radio Show…
      • The Book of Paul Trailer – Indiegogo
  • The Book of Paul
    • Reviews
    • An Excerpt from The Book of Paul
  • Buy the Book
  • Newsletter
  • Contact
Search the site...
Home» Funny shit

Funny shit

Trick or…WTF???

Posted by Richard Long - October 31, 2017 - A Nation of Idiots, Funny shit, Horror
2

Still haven’t settled on the perfect costume for your kids this year? In the interest of good parenting, here are some helpful suggestions on what to definitely avoid, what to probably avoid, and even a few that are just “too darn cute”!

The Bad…

Daddy, do we have any crack left?

Read More air freshener, costume, funny, Halloween, Hannibal Lecter, Hitler costume, Johnny Cash, Madonna, Risky Business, scary, Scissorhands, Wallenda, weird

New Radio Interview with an Amazingly Talented Author! Me.

Posted by Richard Long - April 4, 2014 - Funny shit, Interviews, Richard Long, The Book of Paul, The Dead End Blog Radio Show
0

Check out this fun (and incredibly intelligent, insightful, entertaining) radio interview with…ME!

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

Read More Author tips, Blog Talk Radio, dead end radio show, Dianna Bellerose, Empowering and Inspiring Women Globally, Most important marketing tips for new authors, Top ten marketing tips for new authors

Idiot Spectrum Disorder: We Must Find a CURE!

Posted by Richard Long - March 10, 2014 - A Nation of Idiots, Ariane Zurcher, Autism, Funny shit, Richard Long
0

My young daughter Emma, who happens to autistic, recently wrote (because she has difficulty with spoken language):

“I want to know what you think about autism and am curious to understand why wasted time is spent being against a way of thinking and being.”

Emma, here is my simple answer to your “why” question: Because most people are idiots.

Myself included. “Idiot” is merely another label, or course, and as such, it is ultimately just another word on a very long list of categorizations intended to “other.”

I will now (idiotically) expound on my statement, attempting to use that label (idiotically) to describe that same label in some sort of useful (yet idiotic) manner–which I have (idiotically) labeled ISD: Idiot Spectrum Disorder.

Idiot Spectrum Disorder is a devastating condition that affects 80-90% of the human population. At this time, there is no known cause of ISD, nor is there any cure. Genetic predisposition, cultural conditioning and environmental toxins may all play a role in this tragic condition, but the best we can do now is analyze the symptoms and attempt to catalog the various subcategories of idiots on the spectrum.

“Delusional idiots” are ego-based consciousness forms who believe themselves to be intelligent (“know what’s what”). This presupposition leads to many dangerous and/or harmful conclusions. (More)

Read More ASD, autism, autism spectrum disorder, couch potato

Breaking Bad Pre-Wrap-Up Wrap-Up. Pick your ending! (SPOILER ALERT!)

Posted by Richard Long - September 29, 2013 - Funny shit, Reviews
1

Breaking Bad ep 509, shot on 12/6/12 by Ursula Coyote

Okay, here’s a quickee. Tonight’s the big night. So let’s start the pool poll for what kind of devastation we’re in for tonight. Bryan Cranston says it “will be a holocaust.” Vince Gilligan says he has “no sympathy” left for Walter White. So you know the body count will be high so here are my big questions:

Who get’s the ricin capsule?

Who gets sprayed with bullets from the machine gun in Walt’s trunk?

What big characters bite the dust?

Read More Breaking Bad, Breaking bad ending, Breaking bad finale, Flynn, Heisenberg, Jesse Pinkman, ricin, Skylar, Walt Jr., Walter White

TV or not TV? Is it even a question?

Posted by Richard Long - September 11, 2013 - Funny shit, Horror, Paranormal, Richard Long, Sci-Fi, Supernatural, The Book of Paul
2

Awkward pause in the conversation? Here’s the perfect filler: “What TV shows are you watching now?” BAM! You’re almost guaranteed a minimum of fifteen minutes of boisterous banter. And in those rare instances where the answer is: “I don’t watch TV.” You can always ask for the check. Even if you’re not in a restaurant.

What's on tonight? Won't be better than this. What’s on tonight? Won’t be better than this.

Read More Addams Family, Bates Motel, Dallas, Game of Thrones, Garry Shandling, Hannibal, Hugh Dancy, J. R. Ewing, Khaleesi, Larry Hagman, Larry Sanders Show, Lost, Mads Mikkelsen, Mary Tyler Moore, Michael Dunn, Mother of Dragons, Norma Bates, Norman Bates, Orchid Black, Robert Conrad, Tatiana Maslany, Television, Television program, The Wild Wild West, Under the Dome, Wild West

A Nation of Idiots: An American Rant

Posted by Richard Long - July 4, 2013 - A Nation of Idiots, Funny shit
4

Independence Day. A celebration of the American Spirit, the triumph of Freedom over Tyranny. How will we celebrate? In New York City, you might be standing behind miles of barricades along 12th Avenue, or even 11th Avenue, to make sure you don’t get anywhere near the Hudson River where five barges will be blowing off enough fireworks to decimate a small country in a very colorful fashion.
But…you're watching from here. What fun for the whole family!

I love fireworks. I’ve seen a lot of them in New York. Some were legendary, like the Bicentennial Celebration or The centennial anniversary of the Brooklyn Bridge, both of which could be easily witnessed among throngs of people watching from the RIVERSIDE. When did the Police Barricade State take over? It’s been gradual in some ways, part of the ongoing national campaign to curtail personal freedom in every possible walk of life. Hey let’s go to the YMCA for a swim! But no diving, no jumping, no paddle boards (you could kill someone with those things).

Read More barricades, fireworks, Fourth of July, Giuliana, Great Lawn. Central Park, Hudson River, Independence Day, July 4, Macy's fireworks, police state

Villains! Ya Gotta Love ‘Em.

Posted by Richard Long - April 4, 2013 - Funny shit, Horror, Occult, Paranormal, Richard Long, Sci-Fi, Sticky, Supernatural, The Book of Paul, Thriller
4

I’ve always believed that any good vs. evil tale is only as good as the evil. The best villains are the ones you end up rooting for—the ultimate guilty pleasure. You want them to survive, so you can get another unhealthy dose of evil down the road. Check out the following links for various lists of the top literary villains of all time and the top film villains of all time. I’ve included three lists in each category to point out the overlap of critical consensus. In literary fiction, many of the same names keep popping up. Ditto with the film villains. Which are your favorite villains from each list (or your own write-ins)?

Read More

A Nation of Idiots: April Fools!

Posted by Richard Long - April 1, 2013 - Funny shit, Richard Long, The Book of Paul
0

I’ve been known to say that I don’t suffer fools gladly, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes I don’t suffer at all. Take these ladies and gentlemen for example. Please. Here’s a Best of Collection” from my Nation of Idiots posts plus some new favorites:

Good kitty!

Good kitty!

Read More funny photos, funny pictures, idiots, morons, stupid people

T.G.I.G.F.

Posted by Richard Long - March 29, 2013 - Funny shit, Horror, Occult, Paranormal, Richard Long, Sticky, The Book of Paul, Thriller
0

Come again? Sure, but you have to wait until Easter! Badoomboom! But seriously folks, Thank God It’s Good Friday! Why? What’s so Good about Good Friday? Wellllll…as all those who’ve have read The Book of Paul know, most of  the action in the story takes place between Holy Thursday (what’s for dinner? Roast rump!) and Good Friday. And for everyone who hasn’t read The Book of Paul, now it’s on sale for 50% off until roll-away-the-stone day! That’s only $1.99 — the price of a tall Starbucks coffee as opposed to the regular $3.99 grande latte price. Wow! What a deal! Yes, indeed it is. And it’s available only on Amazon http://amzn.to/LJf2nX so tell your friends, family, creditors and rival clan members that they better take advantage of this once-in-a-weekend opportunity, before Paul decides he doesn’t feel quite so generous anymore.

Jesus-loves-Paulsm

Okay. Now that we’ve made your weekend a whole lot darker by spreading the gospel according to Paul, let’s zero in on that gloomiest of all religious HolyDays–Friday the Good. Being a former altar boy educated by friendly nuns and way-friendlier priests, I’ve been well indoctrinated in the Party Line position of the Church regarding the significance of Good Friday, which can be summed up as: Christ HAD to die to cleanse us all from Original Sin®.

HOWEVER, since we all continue to be born with Original Sin®, and therefore have to be baptized to RE-cleanse ourselves (otherwise we will surely burn in hell for all eternity), I’m still a little cloudy on the “HAD to die” reasoning. Another thing that doesn’t quite add up for me is the whole “on the third day He shall rise again” bit. Admitedly, I’m no math whiz, but if Jesus died at 3:15 in the afternoon of Friday and was out of the tomb at sunrise on Easter, that comes to…wait a sec, let me get my calculator…um…okay, got it: about 39 hours. Hmmmm. Weird, huh?

Read More Blog radio, Easter, Gnostic Gospels, Good Friday, Good Wednesday, Gospel of Mary, Gospel of Philip, Gospel of Thomas, Gospel of Truth, Hermes, Hermeticism, Nag Hammadi, Sophia, The Dead End, Women who love Paul

The Next Big Thing — Blog Hop!

Posted by Richard Long - February 27, 2013 - Funny shit, Horror, Interviews, Occult, Supernatural, The Book of Paul, Thriller, Tours and Events
6

I was invited to participate in what can best be described as a chain-letter blog hop. Here’s how it works: someone gave me 10 interview questions which I’m going to answer below. Then I passed on the questions on to 5 other authorswho will post their answers on their own blogs next week, and they pass on the questions to 5 more authors and so on and so on until there is some kind of nuclear blog dirty bomb disaster with a half life of 500,000 years.

The very talented author and superior human being, Kate O’Reilley invited me to this bunny blog hop. Here’s a link to her fab blog and quite interesting answers: http://katevsworld.com/2013/02/20/the-next-big-thing-blog-hop/

So without further adon’t, herewith are my pithy (yes, I do write with a lithp) replies:

1: What is the working title of your book?

The Book of Paul. Does that work for you?

2: Where did the idea come from for the book?

The first line of the book is: He practiced smiling. I wanted to explore a character that had been so damaged that he’d completely shut down emotionally. Could someone like that be redeemed by love? Why yes, of course he can! Right? Well, I hope so.

3: What genre does your book come under?

The Book of Paul covers a lot of ground: occult horror, mystery, thriller, crime, dark fantasy and sci-fi⎯with a healthy dose of humor and a sassy sprinkling of erotica.

4: Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

Read More Alphabet City Manhattan, Blog Hop, blog tour, Book of Paul, Chuck Palahniuk, Clive Barker, Kate O''Reilley, New York, Paul, The Next Big Thing, Umberto Eco
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3

Recent Posts

  • Trick or…WTF???

    October 31, 2017
  • Hackathon Sale!

    February 24, 2016
  • Sneaky Preview: The Dead Mask (sequel to The Book of Paul)

    August 14, 2015
  • The Secret to Being a Tough Guy

    April 11, 2014
    (c) 2012 The Book of Paul