The Book of Paul
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Trick or…WTF???

Posted by Richard Long - October 31, 2017 - A Nation of Idiots, Funny shit, Horror
2

Still haven’t settled on the perfect costume for your kids this year? In the interest of good parenting, here are some helpful suggestions on what to definitely avoid, what to probably avoid, and even a few that are just “too darn cute”!

The Bad…

Daddy, do we have any crack left?

Read More air freshener, costume, funny, Halloween, Hannibal Lecter, Hitler costume, Johnny Cash, Madonna, Risky Business, scary, Scissorhands, Wallenda, weird

Hackathon Sale!

Posted by Richard Long - February 24, 2016 - Giveaways, Occult, Paranormal, Richard Long, Tours and Events
0

My blog was hacked this morning (grumble, grumble) and all my subscribers were treated to a spam post titled “Dresshead” (catchy) and filled with gibberish about a lovely chiffon dress with tantalizing spaghetti straps. I’m so sorry that you had to be subjected to the indignity of reading computer generated sales copy, which would be better utilized as a means to torture terrorists.

Please accept my sincere apology. Thick, steep walls have been erected to block further intrusions, and a moat has been dug and filled with flaming pitch. If anyone does notice anything fishy on the site, please comment or contact me directly.

Now for the good part! I’m doing a HUGE Bookbub promo later today, so YOU, newly-lucky subscribers, get first dibs on the discount!

Read More Bookbub, discount, promo, sale

Sneaky Preview: The Dead Mask (sequel to The Book of Paul)

Posted by Richard Long - August 14, 2015 - Uncategorized
5

I’ve been getting a lot of George R. R. Martin-style ribbing for the time it’s taking to finish the sequel to The Book of Paul, tentatively titled The Dead Mask. Reasons for the delay? Quite a few. Some health issues (involving surgery, mismanagement of same, and ugly recovery road bumps). Some family issues (due to the complete lack of educational opportunities in the public and private school sectors, we have had to homeschool our brilliant but woefully underestimated autistic daughter). Mostly though, Paul had to take a back seat (a very uncomfortable position for those who know Paul) to The Dream Palace series, my middle-grade fantasy adventure series.

So in thanks for your patience and support, here’s a chapter from The Dead Mask. It was hard to select spoiler-proof pages for those who haven’t read The Book of Paul, but for those who have, this chapter should provide a wince and chuckle. I’ll be posting a preview of The Dream Palace soon.

DT563

Read More George RR Martin, sequel, The Dead Mask

The Secret to Being a Tough Guy

Posted by Richard Long - April 11, 2014 - Excerpts, Horror, Paul's Quote O'the Night, Richard Long, The Book of Paul
0

An excerpt from the chapter “The Secret to Being a Tough Guy” from The Book of Paul, where Paul begins instructing (corrupting) his young apprentice, Michael Bean: “Let me cut right to the point,” Paul said, sweeping his arm like he was erasing a cluttered blackboard. “Have you ever wanted to kill someone?” Michael’s mouth […]

Read More corruption, predator, prey, sheep, wolves

New Radio Interview with an Amazingly Talented Author! Me.

Posted by Richard Long - April 4, 2014 - Funny shit, Interviews, Richard Long, The Book of Paul, The Dead End Blog Radio Show
0

Check out this fun (and incredibly intelligent, insightful, entertaining) radio interview with…ME!

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

Read More Author tips, Blog Talk Radio, dead end radio show, Dianna Bellerose, Empowering and Inspiring Women Globally, Most important marketing tips for new authors, Top ten marketing tips for new authors

Idiot Spectrum Disorder: We Must Find a CURE!

Posted by Richard Long - March 10, 2014 - A Nation of Idiots, Ariane Zurcher, Autism, Funny shit, Richard Long
0

My young daughter Emma, who happens to autistic, recently wrote (because she has difficulty with spoken language):

“I want to know what you think about autism and am curious to understand why wasted time is spent being against a way of thinking and being.”

Emma, here is my simple answer to your “why” question: Because most people are idiots.

Myself included. “Idiot” is merely another label, or course, and as such, it is ultimately just another word on a very long list of categorizations intended to “other.”

I will now (idiotically) expound on my statement, attempting to use that label (idiotically) to describe that same label in some sort of useful (yet idiotic) manner–which I have (idiotically) labeled ISD: Idiot Spectrum Disorder.

Idiot Spectrum Disorder is a devastating condition that affects 80-90% of the human population. At this time, there is no known cause of ISD, nor is there any cure. Genetic predisposition, cultural conditioning and environmental toxins may all play a role in this tragic condition, but the best we can do now is analyze the symptoms and attempt to catalog the various subcategories of idiots on the spectrum.

“Delusional idiots” are ego-based consciousness forms who believe themselves to be intelligent (“know what’s what”). This presupposition leads to many dangerous and/or harmful conclusions. (More)

Read More ASD, autism, autism spectrum disorder, couch potato

DUST! The Gospel According to Paul for Ash Wednesday!

Posted by Richard Long - March 5, 2014 - Horror, Occult, Paranormal, Richard Long, Supernatural, The Book of Paul
0

Ash what?

For those who’ve read The Book of Paul, you know that Paul loves to wax philosophical from time to time, especially when he’s trying to convince William to DO HIS DUTY for Clan and King. Billy, our faithful narrator,  is highly motivated by Paul’s blackmail threats and promises of power, riches and glory, but his ambivalence continues to infuriate Paul throughout the story. William chronicles their encounters in his journal entries which inform the reader of Paul’s true motives as each layer of the onion is peeled away.

This excerpt below is from one of William’s journal entries, entitled DUST! One of my favorites, it gives Paul the bully pulpit for a sermon about death that should give you some good shivers and plenty to contemplate. It also ends with my favorite Paul quote in the book. SPOILER ALERT: this chapter takes place well after the halfway point of the novel, so if you haven’t read the book and intend to, BE WARNED, there are revelations that will dampen the suspense. But for fans of the book, I’d love to hear your comments on Paul’s provocative  monologue. Enjoy!

 

“DUST!” Paul shouted so loudly I thought the ceiling might crack.

“The Bible says God made Adam out of dust and breathed His life inside him. He made him born to die. All things turn to dust in time, they say. All except a few. My children died so I could live, and earn the wisdom of their sacrifice. Now I’ll pass it on to you. All of us are killers. Each and every one. We live by eating life. Time has robbed us of this knowing. Time and our shame of the truth. We let others do our killing. We pretend goodness is better than hunger. We fear death and the pain that accompanies it. We pretend they don’t exist.”

He paused and looked at me. “There once was a spiritual seeker who found a guru on the mountaintop. He couldn’t believe his good fortune and so he asked the question that had been burning in his heart: ‘Master,’ he asked, ‘What is the greatest mystery in life?’

“The wise man said, ‘The greatest mystery in life is that we see death all around us and we still can’t believe it will ever happen to us.’”

“I can see you found that amusing,” Paul said, smiling back at me, “but here’s a little twist. The wise man wasn’t so wise after all. It’s no mystery why we hide from death. We hide because we fear it. The greatest mystery of life is death. What force engineered this necessity? What is this thing we call ‘food’? We eat life, William. We eat life! And we eat it every single day!”

He stopped for a moment, then walked to the lectern and put his hands on a giant codex. It looked like it might have been made in the fifth century or even earlier. “When this book was made, people didn’t pretend they were above the occasional murder,” he intoned, rubbing the thick leather binding like Aladdin rubbing the genie’s lamp. “They didn’t put their noses up in the air each time someone lost their head. It was all out in the open. People would fill the public squares for a beheading. Torture was a science. An art! The bravest saints would know the rapture that awaited them when their final breath was torn away. There wasn’t the slightest pretense we were any better than that. Now we have marches and rock concerts, and petitions to stop it. And slaughterhouses and food factories that hide it. Wrap it up on a Styrofoam dish. Microwave it. We pretend death is everywhere except here.”  Then he got very quiet. I had to strain my ears to listen. “But death is here. Now. In this very room, watching us. And death has many secrets to share.”

I felt the hairs on my neck tickle at my shirt collar. “What secrets?”

Read More Ash Wednesday, Death, lent, Steven Colbert

What actually matters…

Posted by Richard Long - December 27, 2013 - Ariane Zurcher, Autism, Richard Long
0

Love. Family. Parenting. Friendship. Service. Compassion. Activism. Kindness. Helpfulness. Humor. Humility. Awe. Wonder. Curiosity. Investigation. Learning. Discovery. Supportiveness. Encouragement. Cheerleading. Sacrifice. Courage. Strength. Emotional availability. Openness. Willingness. Honesty. What stands in the way of what actually matters… Hatred. Selfishness. Self-centeredness. Egotism. Greed. Betrayal. Dishonesty. Closemindedness. Superiority. Bigotry. Racism. Sexism. Homophobia. Ageism. Religious extremism. Separatism. Us […]

Read More assisted typing, Emma's Hope Book, Facilitated Communication, letterboard, non-verbal, RPM, Soma, speech impaired, stencil board

The Book of Paul trailer….it lives!

Posted by Richard Long - October 31, 2013 - Horror, Movie Trailer, Occult, The Book of Paul, Tours and Events
0

Happy Halloween everyone! Here’s a treat that was quite a trick to pull off…. THE FINAL BOOK OF PAUL MOVIE TRAILER! It looks amazing! It sounds amazing! Watch it now and then watch it again! Tell everyone you know. Share it on your timelines. Post it on your blogs. Tweet the please the holy hell […]

Read More

Breaking Bad Pre-Wrap-Up Wrap-Up. Pick your ending! (SPOILER ALERT!)

Posted by Richard Long - September 29, 2013 - Funny shit, Reviews
1

Breaking Bad ep 509, shot on 12/6/12 by Ursula Coyote

Okay, here’s a quickee. Tonight’s the big night. So let’s start the pool poll for what kind of devastation we’re in for tonight. Bryan Cranston says it “will be a holocaust.” Vince Gilligan says he has “no sympathy” left for Walter White. So you know the body count will be high so here are my big questions:

Who get’s the ricin capsule?

Who gets sprayed with bullets from the machine gun in Walt’s trunk?

What big characters bite the dust?

Read More Breaking Bad, Breaking bad ending, Breaking bad finale, Flynn, Heisenberg, Jesse Pinkman, ricin, Skylar, Walt Jr., Walter White
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Recent Posts

  • Trick or…WTF???

    October 31, 2017
  • Hackathon Sale!

    February 24, 2016
  • Sneaky Preview: The Dead Mask (sequel to The Book of Paul)

    August 14, 2015
  • The Secret to Being a Tough Guy

    April 11, 2014
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